Best Divorce Letter (via Suketsah)

Dear hubby,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever.. I’ve been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been hell..

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your
games. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want anything
that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you
don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Wife
P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
_

FOLLOWING IS THE RESPONSE FROM THE HUSBAND

Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my games so much because they drown out your constant whining & gripe Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a boy!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything
if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.. About those new silk dress: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as
Carla(woman) ……… .I hope that’s not a problem